


Pain is Beauty

by LiveLaughDieAlone



Series: Pain is Beauty [1]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Band, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lead Guitar! Reader, Soft Sonny, morning check ins, protective band members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26003674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughDieAlone/pseuds/LiveLaughDieAlone
Summary: Two days after the new hit band Pain Is Beauty gets back from tour, the lead guitarist is attacked in her apartment, tortured, and raped. Special Victims Unit shows up. Carisi and Rollins meet the overbearing brotherly band members, along with the actual brother of the rape victim, who believes Sonny would be a good fit for his youngest sister.
Relationships: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Original Female Character(s), Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr./Reader
Series: Pain is Beauty [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887391
Kudos: 6





	Pain is Beauty

It was a cold night in New York City, the perfect night to curl up on your couch with a thick blanket, a crime show, and a cup of hot chocolate with a dash of vodka. This was what Phoenix was doing when someone knocked on her door. The night was not supposed to end with her sitting on her bed with the band surrounding her. Anton, Carson, Jasper, Quintin, and Nathaniel. They each spoke at the same time, overwhelming her. 

Finally SVU walked through her apartment door, oddly enough you wouldn’t have known it was the apartment of anyone famous until you saw the posters. Pain is Beauty. 

”So, the vic, Shiloh Sharpe. She’s the lead guitar player for Pain is Beauty. They just got back from their tour 2 days ago. It looks like the perp pushed her inside and into her bedroom,” Rollins explained walking with Carisi to the bedroom.

When they entered the room, a 6’4” man hushed the other men talking. He stepped forward and stuck his hand out to Carisi.

”Nathaniel Sharpe, but please call me Nate. I’m Phoenix’s oldest brother. This is Anton Park, Jasper Rose, Quintin Spencer, and Carson Weeks.” 

”Detective Sonny Carisi and this is my Partner Amanda Rollins.”

The other boys all wanted to introduce themselves at the same time but a female voice spoke.

”Boys, out, all 5 of you,” Phoenix hissed rubbing her wrists. 

All five of the male band members left the room and Phoenix was finally revealed. She sat on the bed, her wrists were purple and blue along with marks on her arms and face.

”Sorry about them, even the ones who aren’t my brother. So, what do you need to know?” 

”We need to know what happened,” Rollins said taking out a pen and paper.

She ran a hand through the thick forest of black curls, “I was watching tv on my couch when someone knocked on my door. I thought it was the takeout I ordered so I opened the door. He pushed me in, grabbed my throat and threw me onto the bed. He tired me to my bed, and raped me.”

Her voice was oddly calm but her eyes unfocused, almost as if she wasn’t there, at least fully. 

”Did you see his face?” Carisi asked?

”No, he wore a mask, but he said ‘Don’t make a sound or I’ll stick that pretty little knife into that pretty little heart.’ That’s one of our most popular songs. Pretty Little Knife and Pretty little Heart. I think he was a fan.”   
  


After the questions, Phoenix was taken to the hospital for a rape kit. Outside the hospital room Nate stopped Sonny.

”This is my sister’s number. I like you. You don’t have to call her but you can,” Nate said stoically.

He walked to the waiting room to get coffee and Jasper chuckled walking up to Carisi.

“Well that’s new. Nate doesn’t really like guys getting close to his youngest sister.”

It was true. Nate had hated all of Phoenix’s relationships, every single one. He was a protective man, but when he likes someone he’s a teddy bear. Granted, it wasn’t easy to get him to like you.

Phoenix tugged on a pullover Nate took from her apartment and rubbed her eyes. 

”You did very good, Miss Sharpe,” Olivia smiles touching her back.

Phoenix flinched, “Don’t touch me!” She snapped.

Olivia pulled back quickly, the look on Phoenix’s face was the look of pure annoyance and hate. 

”Sorry, I-I don’t like people touching me. At all. Ever,” she explained scratching her forearm. “Um…I Kinda need a place to crash for the night.”

The other band members were all scattered throughout the city and most of them actually lived with another band member, Nate and her we’re the only two who didn’t. Nate, however, lived with his long time girlfriend and Phoenix didn’t want to intrude. 

”You can stay at my apartment for the night,” Carisi replied peeking into the room.

Her dim smile brightened, “Thank you! I’m really sorry if I get in the way. My place is trashed and I’ll clean it tomorrow.”

”No no, it’s fine. You won’t get in the way.”

^—^

The drive to his apartment was quiet, Phoenix struggled to stay awake. Her cheek kept slipping from the palm of her hand and she yawned frequently. When they finally made it up the stairs and into his two bedroom apartment, Phoenix kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto the couch. 

”I’ll go make up the guest bed and then I’ll come get you, okay?”

She nodded curling up and yawning, shutting her eyes. He was back as soon as he left and woke her up. Phoenix stumbled to the bedroom and sat in the soft mattress with a sigh. 

”Hey, thanks again for letting me stay the night. I really appreciate it.”

”It’s really no problem, Pho-“

”Call me Nix. Please.”

”Okay, Nix. You should get some sleep. Night.”

She was out from the moment the light shut off, barely shimmying underneath the thick blankets before passing out. The dreams she had were vivid, they weren’t really dreams. More so nightmares hidden behind a façade of normality. 

Phoenix ended up screaming in her sleep effectively waking up Sonny from his deep state of sleep. He was confused as to what the noise was that awoke him but another followed the first triggering him to rush to the guest room. Phoenix had the blankets bunched up at the foot of the bed, her shirt was slid up high on her stomach and her pants kicked off. Nails dug into the sheets and pulled. Sonny shook her lightly, Phoenix jolted up. She panted looking at him with wide eyes.

”Hey, are you okay?”

”Y-yeah. Just a n-nightmare.”

He yawned as she shivered.

”Do you think you could get back to sleep?” 

She shook her head.

”Wanna stay up and watch tv?”

She nodded grabbing her jeans and pulling them back on. Sonny led her to the living room and she plopped down bringing her knees to her chest. When he came back, he had Hot Chocolate in hand and a smile, it was tired, but still a smile.

”Sorry I woke you up. I didn’t mean to.” 

”It’s fine, I just wanna know that you’re okay.”

When she didn’t respond Sonny looked over. Phœnix pressed against his side, fast asleep.

^—^

Every other day Sonny popped by her apartment and either brought lunch or she made it for them. It was like this all the way through trial, the trial to convict her rapist who really wasn’t that hard to find, he came in and turned himself in. 

One day, Barba told her, Liv, and Sonny to come to his office so they could go over her testimony. Everyone had been there except Nix. Sonny had been sent to her apartment to see if anything had happened. When he got there, he used his key to get in. Sonny looked around until he found her slumped over on her kitchen floor. Blood smeared on her face and hands, along with a bottle of vodka and the apartment reeked of weed. 

”Hey! Hey! No no, wake up, Nix.”

She groaned swatting his hand away. Her eyes were bloodshot and her breath smelled like booze.

”W-What happened?” He asked crouching in front of her.

”M-my dad got outta prison this morning.”

Her words were slurred so bad he could barely understand her.

”What?”

”Our Father got out of Prison at 6 am. She spiraled when she heard the news,” Nate explained exiting the guest room drying his hair, “When she gets stressed her nose bleeds.”

Sonny moved the bottle and picked up her limp body, he set her down on her bed retrieving a damp wash cloth from the bathroom wiping her face and hands. Sun danced through the curtains onto the scarlet sheets causing Nix to hiss and fall back onto the covers. Sonny smiles and tucked her in before walking to the living room.

”So what happened?”

”When? Before our Dad went to Prison? Or like two hours ago?”

”Both.”

Nate took a sip from his glass and sighed, “Nix was the youngest, I was the carefree teen and I didn’t see what was happening until he was going to prison for molesting kids ages 5-17. When he went to prison, Nix was 15. They say what set him off was the death of our mother. She died when Nix turned 5, on her birthday.”

Sonny was silent, just listening.

“Um…everyone was pretty fucked up after her passing. Everyone loved her, she was sweet and gentle. Our mom was the complete opposite of our Dad. He was always angry, always yelling. He was mad even if we did something right. Once I was old enough to make plans with friends without having to tell Dad, I did. He was a terrible man, always saying that…”

Nix cut him off, “He used to say that I looked exactly like Mom. That was his way of making this okay, making himself think that I was Mom. From age 5 to 9 it was just touching but then I turned 10 it became more.”

There was no emotion in her voice, but her speech was slightly slurred. She stood in the doorway with her sleeves scrunched up in her fists.

”He got arrested when I was 15, but that’s not new. Now, you’re wondering why I did this? Well, the man who molested me as a child just got out of prison and I was raped just days ago. Does this not warrant getting blackout drunk in the middle of the afternoon?” Nix asked looking up at him with glassy eyes. “When I heard about it I immediately called Nate, he knew what I was gonna do and he stayed to make sure I didn’t do anything more stupid. We smoked some weed, talked, but when I came down…I came down hard. I needed something to counteract it, I knew I had vodka in the cabinet so I started drinking.“

She was crying, this was new, this was an opportunity to use what SVU had taught him. Sonny wrapped his arms around her allowing her to sob into his shoulder.


End file.
